Words can't express the pain and anger I had yesterday evening. We were both so pumped, waiting for the go-ahead to give notice and pack our bags (well at least his for the moment) only to be told that the position is on-hold. On-hold? WTH? My immediate reaction was sorrow. I thought all my cheerleading skills were for naught. That holding that belief in my mind was pointless.
Then I got pissed. Hell hath no fury.
I was pissed because I'm so tired of my guy getting pumped up for something and being disappointed. I was pissed because I'm tired of the run around he's been receiving about potential opportunities. I was pissed because we aren't moving to Denver.
I'm not giving up my/our vision of being part of the 10% black folk residing in Denver. I'm not giving up the idea of being able to bike, hike, water ski, camp, fish almost every weekend until winter comes. I'm not giving up the idea of trading in my sports car for an all-terrain vehicle (preferably a 4X4 Toyota Tacoma or Dodge Durango). I know that when you focus on something you want, it does manifest. It may not happen when you want it to, but it does happen. We are staying positive and holding focus.
We know not to bank on a possibility, but we still hold out hope. He was extremely upbeat giving me the news yesterday. He knows that when this position does become available, he's the man. But in the meantime, we continue to search the job boards and he continues to send out his resume and network. It ain't a lie - job search is a full-time job.
Denver will be ours.