There was a question posed somewhere in the nether regions of the Internet (where I'm not really sure any longer cuz I'm old and my memory is really foggy) if you would put in your 2-cents with co-worker about their attempts to lose weight. Uh...Yes! Since I have major opinions that I will gladly share with anyone, of course I chimed in that I would.
So it comes to no surprise when I put in my 34-cents yesterday about weight loss. First off, I'm no expert. If I was, I would be making a bazillion dollars, have my own super sexy gym in NYC, writing self-help books, and training movie stars. Hmmm - now there's a life. Anyhoo - I'm not. I'm just a girl who shed a few lbs and still trying to shed some more and I read waaaay too much.
Now back to yesterday.
A buddy of mine went through some turmoil over the weekend. Some dude she was seeing said the unthinkable...."we're physically incompatible". WTH???? Yeah, yeah everyone is entitled to their own attractions, desires, etc. But I immediately go into defense mode. My reaction to this is: Man, F* him! Oh Wendy Brandes' swear rings would have been apropos for this occasion.
OK, so my skin is a hell of a lot thicker than most women, I know (did I mention I'm old, cantankerous, and generally just don't care?).
But what set me off more than that is her reaction - to make an appointment to discuss lap band. Really? WTH???? Over what some dude said? Really? Yes, I'm still shocked. I had to call my mom and vent. *Note: My mom has had lap band so I needed an ally or at least someone else who's had to deal with weight issues and losing it for their own sake not someone else's.
My major gripe with this reaction is that she is taking the lazy way out and doing it to please some dude. Really?!?!?! My friend's words exactly "I'm tired of putting in the effort and not seeing the results" (OK, maybe not an exact quote - but that's the gist). So why the hell do you shell out $20+ every month for a gym membership, ask me to workout with you (and rarely show-up), and ask my advice on what to eat/when to eat, what calories to count, etc?
Yeah - I put in my 34-cents, you can best believe. In her case, surgery is the lazy way to approach weight loss. IMHO, lap band or gastric is for folks who can hardly move, who are in the seriously obese regions and if they don't do something drastic ASAP they will cease to breathe. This is not her case. And added to that weight loss is something you do for YOU. Not to please some dude or fit someone's ideal of beauty. Unless it's your thought/goal/game plan, you can tell whomever to jump off a short bridge if they're beefing about your weight (been there, done that).
So I gave her my Eat-Clean book and suggested she give it, along with working out 5 days a week, a good 6-week effort. Make the appointment and stick with it - no excuses (she's really good with excuses). If she didn't see any changes after 6 weeks then consider speaking with her MD. In a nutshell, I said in my best faux-Jillian voice - buck up, put up or shut up (at least that's the convo in my head).
Those of us working to shed it know it didn't come on overnight (well maybe Taco Bell does glue fat to my ass in my sleep) and it sure as heck ain't coming off overnight (especially since I'm too poor to pay for the quickie solution).
Would you give your 2-cents?
5 comments:
i think you gave her sound advice. she should try exercise and healthy eating first before doing anything drastic. besides, what is the guy's expectation? she didn't change but his feeling did?
I had no idea about Taco Bell's nocturnal activities! I will double lock my door from now on to keep the fat out.
I don't blame you for being uber annoyed with her. In fact, I admire you for telling her...first and foremost because you only have her best interest at heart! Here's the skinny (pun intended) - the dude is lying. He was dating her knowing full well her body type...he was just naming an excuse to get rid of her that he knew she couldn't quick fix...what an a$$! Here's another fact - if I can lose over a hundred pounds in less than a year by watching what I eat and exercising only 3 times a week - anyone can. I was as undisciplined as they come and I found a way to do it - it's called coming up with a plan and sticking with it. She can do it - she has to want it - there is no quick fix.
Thanks Ya'll.
The more I think about it the madder I get. Yes, I admit to being superficial. I think on some levels, we all are. When my guy and I met face-to-face (we met via Yahoo personals), the first words out of my mouth were "I'm glad you're not a big boy". He's a big guy, but he's not a BIG boy. But that's beside the point. My friend is a pretty girl with a good heart. She deserves better (that's any entirely different underlying issue) and until she can come to grips on that, she will continue to accept that sort of treatment (I doubt that will continue, however).
So without imposing my personality too much on her (I've done that in the past and she just draws in), I will continue to encourage her, send her whatever I come across and help her keep her appointments regardless if we meet or she goes solo.
The advice you gave her shows you are a true friend. She needs to want to lose the weight for her and not for some loser. A lot of people who do the gastric or lap band for the wrong reasons end up gaining the weight back because they were not mentally prepared for the battle that comes after. I just read when you lose weight with diet and excercise your brain conditions to the new lifestyle, but when you go the surgery route your brain has a harder time changing its way of thinking.
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