This is really stuck in my craw and I can't dislodge it. My father is really perturbed by the fact that I am considering moving to California to be with The Fella because we aren't married. Apparently, this is topic du jour between my parents.
Someone please give me some insight into this...
I am late 30s/he is early 40s. I don't want children / he already has children and no plans for additional kids - maybe a Labrador. Yes, we've only been dating for approximately 2 years (maybe 3 this coming Easter - can't really remember since it feels as if I've known him forever - ahhhhh). Granted my parents aren't the most open-minded folks in their early 60s, but hey, at least The Fella is the same color scheme as I am.
Say I move to Cali and things go sour. I can't find a job, all my crap is crowding his space, I don't like the fact that he puts the toilet paper on backwards, whatever...and we decide to call it quits. Hello - not married...I can pack my crap and go - no need for quickie island divorce. And Cali is community property. So if I won the lottery right before splitville, I'd have to share my winnings with him. So let's hope I win the lottery while living single in Texas (fingers crossed)!
I'm not saying that we're heading towards singledom anytime soon. He's a wonderful dude. But I'm just saying - I like having my options open.
So what's the big deal if we're married or not heading West? Would it be a big deal if he was still here and we were shacking up under the current roof? Probably not. What's the worse that could happen shacking up 1800 miles away from my dad? Is he planning to write me out of his will and leave all his hidden millions to the neighborhood cat. Doubt it. Or does he secretly want to shell out 100K for my wedding? Hmmm, maybe if I present the proposal for the cost he'd have to pay, he'll look at shacking up as a blessing.
4 comments:
LaShaune, live your own life! Only you have to deal with the choices that you make. I do question why not get married if you willing to make sacrifices such as moving. Listen to your parents but make your own choices. I used to live in the "carriage house" at my parents house, and they said that I either needed to marry my then boyfriend or move. I MOVED. We stayed together for another year, but Thank God Id didn’t marry him because he turned out to be closet alcoholic (yea that never made it to runningintoshape.com lol) ...not to say that your guy is drunk LOL!...just saying make your own decision, one that you will be happy with.
Ditto. Thank goodness I'm not 16 & preggers. My mother had my sister at 17 & I don't know how she did it.
Hey Alee - welcome abroad. I didn't mean anything negative about birthing at a young age. I was stuck watching that MTV show and compared to the minimal crap going on in my life - I'm glad I'm in those girl's shoes!
Carli - thanks Hon. Some days I feel too old to listen to my folks and then I have to remember - oh yeah, they're still my parents.
My concern about being married is being trapped and becoming complacent. There is no financial gain for either of us and we're too old to be birthing babies. I'm of the mindset that if we both say we're committed, we're committed. I'd rather we put wedding money towards travel, new bicycles or BBQing with friends and family.
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